Feeling stressed? David Elkind describes stress as "an excessive demand for adjustment that can arise from within or from without ourselves." (p.37 Leader's guide). A variety of stressors face teens and everyone every day. There are: stressors at home, at school, with friends and with the self. These include parental divorce, sibling rivalry and conflict, excessive concern with your own appearance, moving to a new house or community, school exams, boredom in school, school violence, losing a friend, being bullied by peers, feeling inadequate, and having conflict over major life decisions. Change, even when positive, creates stress.
Everyone has different ways of handling and coping with stress. Some people are able to handle much more than others. How do you know if you're reaching your limit? Are you skipping meals, having difficulty sleeping, feeling down or irritable, extra moody, overwhelmed, exhausted all the time, or just wanting to withdraw? Is your heart speeding up? These are all signs that you may be taking on too much.
From the beginning of time people have experienced stress. There are healthy and unhealthy ways of coping. Teens handle stress in a variety of ways. Some unhealthy ways include escape (substance abuse, sleeping, and, in the extreme, suicide), avoidance (skipping school, going out with friends rather than studying and physically avoiding people), not eating, or over eating, cranking up music to overpower thoughts, watching TV, surfing the net, drinking, using drugs and smoking.
Others manage stress more positively. Positive ways of coping include organizing yourself and your life so that you feel more on top of things, practising a musical instrument, running, walking, taking a bath, or bike riding. Physical activity can be a wonderful stress release.
Self-talk can also be very helpful. Much of the stress we experience is self-imposed. Do you have some worry tapes playing in your mind such as "I'll never be able to accomplish all I have to or no one really understands me?" What are your thought patterns?
Take time to reflect on the things that cause stress in your day-to-day life and how you manage it. Individual reflection, group discussion and even some visualization and relaxation exercises can provide for some invaluable learning and insights into stress and the self.
Debbie Kocay, AADAC Calgary Youth Services
References
Hipp, E. (1985). Fighting Invisible Tigers. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing Inc.
Hipp, E. and Schmitz, C. (1995). A Leader's Guide to Fighting Invisible Tigers.
Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing Inc.
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