How Bad is my Teen's Drinking or Drug Use?

It’s so hard to think about your son or daughter drinking or using other drugs. It’s easy to panic and assume the worst. Not all teens who use drugs continue to do so or have their lives fall apart because of their use. Not all kids who drink develop drinking problems. In fact, most don’t.

At AADAC, we know you are concerned. You might also be feeling scared, worried and unsure about what to do next. You probably have a lot of questions, too. Is my son addicted? Is my daughter’s use a problem? Does my teen need help to stop?

Some parents also feel like their kid’s drug use is somehow their fault. Lots of parents have these feelings—you are not alone. Even with the best parenting, young people ultimately make their own choices, both healthy and unhealthy. Their unhealthy choices don’t make you a bad parent.

This brochure will help you to understand how alcohol and other drug problems develop—usually over a period of time. It will explain how someone’s use of alcohol or other drugs can progress from not being a problem to actual addiction.

When does use become harmful? Understanding the stages of alcohol or other drug use

Experimental use

Not every teen who uses alcohol or other drugs has a problem. Some kids experiment with various drugs, including alcohol, and decide “this is not for me.” Maybe they don’t like the feeling or maybe the pros are outweighed by the cons (cost of the drugs, fear of getting caught with the drugs, friends don’t think it’s cool, etc.). So, they stop.

This experimentation isn’t limited to teens. Some adults continue to experiment with drugs, too. Maybe they try smoking marijuana at a party or maybe they snort a line of cocaine to see what it feels like. Bottom line? They try it to see if they like it or because they are curious, just like your kids do.

Parents are often very concerned when their teens experiment. If your son or daughter is willing, it can be a good time to visit a counsellor to find out about the drugs the teen is using. The counsellor will give you the facts about the drugs and help both of you understand the choices you are making. If your teen doesn’t want to go, you can go alone. The counsellor will help you see what you can do, at least to help yourself. Usually, this will also help your teen.

Some teens like the feeling of being high or like having a couple of drinks now and again. They can choose when they use and stop when they want to. When they use, they don’t have a lot of negative consequences— they don’t blow off school, they don’t get in trouble with the law and they aren’t spending all their money on alcohol or other drugs. Basically, they use once in awhile and consider their use to be “social.”

Harmful involvement

Some kids get more involved with using alcohol and other drugs. Using becomes the focus of what they do when they party or hang out with others. They start to have problems with friends, family, school and work because of their use. They might spend a lot of their money on alcohol or other drugs. They may no longer be feeling good about their use.

When teens use despite the problems it creates, they might be considered harmfully involved with drugs. The good news is they can turn it around.

Dependency

Some teens actually become addicted or dependent on alcohol or other drugs. At this stage, their body is physically hooked on the drug and they might even need it to feel normal. When they quit drinking or using, they often experience hangovers that can range from quite mild to very severe.

It’s also possible to develop “psychological dependence” on the drug, meaning that the users think they function better when they are high or that they need a drink in order to face certain situations or people.

When teens are addicted, they almost always need help in order to stop using.

How do I know where my teen’s use fits and how do I help them to see it?

It’s important to remember that drug problems usually develop over time. Nobody actually sets out to become an alcoholic. Most kids don’t think they will get hooked on drugs. That’s why using scare tactics or talking about worst-case scenarios with young people isn’t very effective. They don’t see themselves among the group that will get hooked or experience serious consequences. They don’t think it will happen to them.

It’s much more effective to talk honestly and openly with teens about drinking and other drug use. Help them understand that most people who end up hooked don’t think they’ll end up that way. Talk with them about how use progresses from one stage to the next and how to recognize the warning signs that their use is getting out of hand.

One of the main differences between having a problem and not having a problem has to do with loss of control. People who use alcohol and other drugs socially are able to stop when they want to. They can stop before they run out of money, run out of drugs, or have passed out from using or drinking too much.

Another key indicator of a problem is when your son or daughter continues to use even though lots of problems are a result of use. In other words, drinking or drugging is getting in the way of living. For more information on how to know if use is a problem or not, read the companion piece in this series. It’s called “Helping teens evaluate their drug use.”

The Protection of Children Abusing Drugs Act (PChAD)

Effective July 1, 2006, the PChAD Act gives you another option to help your child when all treatment options have been tried or if your child is refusing help. If your child is under 18 and has a serious alcohol or other drug problem that has caused or is likely to cause harm to them or others, you can ask the court to have your child admitted to a protective safe house for up to five days. If the court supports your request, your child will have a safe and supportive setting at the protective safe house to begin detoxification, and an AADAC counsellor will help you and your child develop a treatment plan to follow after your child leaves the protective safe house. For more information about PChAD and the court-ordered detox and assessment program, please see “What if I’ve tried every option?” in this series.

For more information

AADAC staff understands that everyone’s needs are different. Whether you want to prevent your child from using alcohol, tobacco or other drugs, or you want to help your child deal with a drug problem, we can help. From information and prevention programs to group and family counselling, outpatient and residential treatment, and even a wilderness program, AADAC and its Funded Services offer a full range of services to help your child and your family.

For more information, contact your local AADAC office or call the AADAC Help Line at 1-866-33AADAC. We are available to give you information and support.